Deception??

Have you ever been confused?
You can’t even tell the truth from the false.

Have you ever found yourself deceived?
For something so beautiful, you find yourself hiding from the truth.

Because I have…
And the place it took me… cost me more than what I imagined.

Smart I thought I was,
Brave to think that I was prepared and ready for what ever was ahead of me,
Cautious in every move I make, always trying to be a step ahead,
Isn’t it funny that this is the place I land on?

I wonder...
Why did you hang around for such a long time?
Why did you try so hard to convince me of those you spoke of?
But if there’s one thing that lingers in my head,
Is why did you put so much effort to convince me that I was the one you treasured,
But haven’t got the will to explain yourself given the situation you were faced with…

I’m not sad because of what I found out,
Just disappointed because, what I was afraid to be true is indeed real,
Because at the very moment when I needed to be convinced most,
You choose to only hide and be silent…

Lesson learned

I choose not to trust for reasons that has repeatedly proven itself,
Over and over again it's taken for granted and later left broken.

I've heard promises.. some so sweet I hardly could resist,
Some so convincing and some even swept me off my feet,
But none spoke of the truth and none actually saw it through.

This is what i believe in, and what i try to hold to...
But the fact is i'm just a girl, and perfect i am not,
Slow but soon I may fall and learn to trust again,
Bacause deep in my heart like any other girl thats what i'd like to do,
I'd like to fall and trust again and give the best of me to one who cares...

For all that I've walked through...
I only hope that there wont be another...
Though without them i wouldnt have learned..
And wouldn't have treasured one of the sweetest gift God has granted us with...

Funny but sad...

Its been a long time since i last felt this way. Funny how i thought i was well prepared and yet the amount of dissappointment and pain that i feel is almost just as if i didn't see this coming. But atleast this time its not a long fall just a nudge on my silly head.

Funny too how the pain is as much even when you are on the other side of the picture...
Funny how i feel for the other person when i'm as screwed as that person is...
Funny how something i innitially didn't care about could cause me this..
Fuuny how i was so careful yet trapped in the same misery in the end..

Well i hope & pray that things will soon be better,
And that i dont have to ever go through a day like today,
I pray hard that god will grant me something so much better that i won't even have the thought of yesterday,
And most of all i hope & pray with all my heart that all these happened because god still loves me and HE knows that i deserve better....

A note for fellow gurls~

"Girl, believe in what you are,
And all that you have,
See all pictures from a view wider than your narrow eyes,
Never pass a judgment unless proven true,

If you believe one is yours,
Own him, Make him yours,
But if you doubt your stand,
Blame not others, for the weakness is yours to own,

Remember...that the truth isn't always sweet,
And often the thing that you refuse to believe is the bitter truth,
So trust that little voice u often ignore,
It may hurt but at least lies aren’t what you live in…"

From my heart to yours~

Dear... a note from my heart to yours...

Cherish the gift of love that you own…

Leave her never,

Love her with all your heart,

Keep her safe & sound,

Sheltered within your warm embrace,

Take good care of her as she does of you,

And her trust you must treasure,

For her love is true,

Just for you & only you…

just another post

Im thankful to the gift i own..

Gift of strength and hope

Gift of great friendship to hold on to

And most of all a gift of unconditional love from my one and only family...

Moments like this...

Its moments like this, that makes me want to let go and just let things fall apart. when i'm hanging by a single thread with a slim hope of a bright morning tomorrow. It makes me wonder if i'm where i'm suppose to be or am i lost again in this crazy maze i simply cannot figure out.

I'm scared to death the fact that my heart isn't as numb as it should be. That i'm beginning to feel some warmth. I'm afraid that the time has come for me to walk out of this shelter but somehow i know that the journey will be long and some what hurtful. I'm very afraid that it is time now for me to decide and i just dont want to. i'm not ready of whats ahead of me.... i know that its about time for me to take that chances but the situation is such that i know... either way i go i'm going to hurt again. That either way, the day isnt so bright for me.

All i want is just to know that even if there's a heavy storm tomorrow, that i'll be able to walk through it with a little bit of strengh and sincerity of another heart. I cant afford to walk out the door of my cozy shelter just to go through a heavy storm in doubts and lies.

I guess i will have to leave it to fate and have faith in what god has in store for me... and that god is letting all this happen because its the best for me...

Safe & whole

I guess there's a reason for each emotion... anger, sad, happy, excitement, disappointment, you name it... i'm sure we've all experienced it. Somehow tears seems to be the most common expression for all these emotion.... (girls that is, boys i'm not sure of) each emotion gives different impacts and each has it own way of marking our lives... well atleast that is how it is in my life.

Tears strikes me today... for two different reasons, sad & disappointment. No doubt life is great and i'm very much happy and thankful for each gift and blessing that god has grant me with, but somehow some thoughts pass by my mind and these emotion were those that came along with it.

God is great ... yes i know. God gives me everything i want & need. God takes away everything if he wants to. God loves me for who i really am because only HE knows everything about me, and hopefully fogives me for sins that i sincerely regret. God is the only one who gives me peace in my mind and heart. goodness me, i know but how come i don't act like i do.

"Others will break your heart,

Leave you strended and break you apart,

God heals your soul,

And keep you safe & whole..."

fugly...

What do i know!!!! I guess u r right hanin!! I dont want that fugly old thing... i've thought about it and i know that it was just a one of those stupid things you do for no reason at all.

What was i thinking... god loves me still and i know that because he has taken away something from me and saved me from getting my self in a messy & fugly situation.. it doesnt hurt all that much but it does sort of buzzed me though. What ever it is... I'm happy i can think straight now...and i know that all this is for the better...

History has Repeated Itself

Truth is... I know its a mistake in the first place, but i thought " what the heck ya!! Whats a lil risk?..." I guess i'm wrong & i know now that of all the voices & sweet spoken words that i've heard from left , right , front & back that little whisper from my heart that i've heard a million times but ignored was the only truth there is...

Nothing else in the world can give u a sincere hope & strength accept that little heart of yours... Because at the end of it all, only your tiny heart knows you better than any other living creature on the entire planet earth...

I guess i had to learn it the hard way. Lies, lies & lies... I cant believe that lies deceived me for the second time..

Well, nobody said that life is fair anyways...

This is the end of chapter 2 of this little tale...

lets all hope there isnt a need for chapter 3 =) i do wish for diffrent story all together tho...in your nearest cinemas soon.. real soon.. ;)