A big Thank You~

A BIG THANK YOU...

P/S : This is a little overdue but its never too late to say thank you right... so here goes...

• To the ones who texted...
• To the ones who called and sang me song or even just a simple wish...
• To the ones who treated me to a piece of brownies & ice cream, a fun filled lunch right up to dinner…
• To the ones who bought me my favourite drink in Starbucks and almost two hours of laughter and smiles...

Personally this year was supposed to be a special year as it marks a couple of significant milestone & occasion in my life. Although things didn’t really turn up the way I expected or wanted it to be, but god sure was fair and granted me with something more... I’m glad for all of those gift that god has granted me with and for that I’m happy.

My life is made up with some very special people...

And this post is my token of appreciation to all.

To all my dearest friends…

One of the greatest gift I realized that I had was the people or friends that I have around me. No matter how close or not they are to me, they have all played their own role in making me the person that I am today. And these are the people who brought colours to my life..

Thank You

To my 1st ever best buddie~ natasha,

For,

• The wishes =)
• Making my school days something I can smile upon
• Almost 11 years of friendship and counting

Hey, I can't find another Natasha you know... Thank You Babe!!

Hanin…

• The monot who brought me on a wild wild adventure on a metro bus & many countless places I never thought I’d go or do!!!
• For the being the one who was there, the day my world came crashing down on me & was always there until I could breathe again.
• For all those nights on that narrow staircase when we would dream on things we will soon achieve…insyaAllah…

I'm glad hanin, I met u in this little journey of mine...

Shikin…

• For being the one who has been with me through many of my ups & downs.
• For having the patience to listen to me wind a 100 million times over the same old thing for as long as I needed to.
• For never tirelessly lending me shoulder to cry on or be the one I could share a laugh with.
• For all the advices and knocks on the head that we gave each other just to keep us on the ground.
• For being my friend

I thank God we bumped into each other along our path in life because I don’t know what I’d do without you… =)

Darrel…

• Dude…we were supposed to have a double celebration this year!!!
• Anyhow, Thanks for being there for the past 10 years of my life, for watching over me as I grew… and I’m sure you’ll still be watching over me from way up there….
• For teaching me more wrongs than right & getting me into trouble more than anything else…
• For being the one who would always make me believe that everything’s gonna be ok… no matter how hard I’d fall.

Darrel, Thanx for being the Big OLD brother I never had & May you rest in peace~~

The Setans..& Great Friends

Ira : : Jawahir : : Nurul : : Nabski : : Shikin : : Fie : : Shigs : :

• For being the most reliable & best ever group of friends & roommates I have.

P/S: Do you setans realize how lucky u guys are to have this cute angel in your devilish group?? Hahaha… Well now you know!!! Kekeke..

Pipers..who’s almost family…

: : Cuan : : Ihsan : : Nik : :

• Firstly, to Hadri, May Allah bless your soul and place you in the heavens.
• For all you guys, for being the friends I counted on for advice. For all the long talks and advice you guys gave me at the mamak shop or coffee bean or where ever or over the communicator thingie…
• For the happy hang outs & get together sessions we had...

Korang sume sengal tp you guys rawks… Cool bunch!!

My Most beloved Family…

• For being the ones who accepts me for my good & ugly.
• For truly loving me unconditionally
• Most importantly for being my strongest most reliable form of support.

For all the warm wishes & prayers that everyone gave me.. I wish each and everyone to always be blessed with much love & happiness. To always be granted the with much blessings...

If this is where ourjourney ends~

For those who have loss.... be it a good friend, family member or who ever~

May our losses be replaced with something better~~

I personally wrote this in respect & memory of a very close & good friend~~

If this is where our journey ends,
I’d want you to know the beauty of the journey that u have brought me,
I’d want you to understand the value of each minute that we’ve spent,
Of what you and me meant to me.

For every smile that you carved on me,
For every laugh that you brought to me,
For every mile that you pulled me through,
For every hope that you’ve shine upon me,
For all the love that you showered unconditionally on me,
For the person that you have thought me to be,
And for all that and more,
I would want you to know,
That you meant so much to me

Though this is where our journey ends,
One thing remains,
That our love was true,
That will always belong to me and you.

If this is where our journey ends,
I wish for you to be blessed,
As I was blessed by the gift of you.

Fly Away~~

Fly away Little Girl, Fly away from here...
Hold on to your courage, Let go of your fears,
Have a little faith, and wipe away those tears,
So fly away from here Little Girl, Fly away from here....

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

Found this poetry through a chained email sent by a friend... I found truth in each word that was written and thought this was worth sharing....

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

To my dearest friends...

no matter what our friendship is for... I do believe that every friendship is a blessing and is a god given gift for me... A gift for us for a reason to teach us about who we are and has thought us to be the person that we've become... A blessings in different seasons to teach us of different things and will last us a lifetime of memories of joy & happiness~~

The World is for the Cruel...

It is when u are cruel that u succeed,

It is when u are cruel that u achieve all that u wish for,

It is when u are cruel that u wont get your heart broken,

It is when u are cruel the world finally follow your lead....

The world is for the cruel...

You have to be cruel to be kind... Even kindness requires cruelty...


Ever notice that good only wins in fairly tales or movies and cartoons? Even than good has to go through all sorts of suffering before they actually enjoys victory... and all the evil and cruel suffer for after a whole lot of victory is a simple and easy death...

Who ever said life was gonna be easy or fair right....

But than again remember... God works in mysterious ways... Who knows what HE has in store for all the non-cruel people who has only lived to be victims of cruelty...

Heres's a post for my dear friends...

Here's a post for my friends who's going through a difficult time, for whatever reason it might be...who might have the same question lingering in your mind...

I had a drink with a friend the other day, threw me question I didn't quite know how to answer...

Well, Lynn..i know this is long overdue but as you wish... I promised you that i'd post my views, so here goes...

"The rain has just begun and the storm is yet to come. What do you do when the shelter that you seek for isn't at all within sight? .... "

Honestly, the reason i say that i don't quite know how to answer is because if i were to be in that position, really... no answer would satisfy me plus there isn't really a correct answer to that question... and no matter what others say, I'd still think their wrong because they dont understand the pain that I've to go through. Im quiet sure u'd feel the same... but I promised u an answer and here's what I have to say...

Well, i thought about it and dear friend, that's a path familiar to most. A path in life that will make the rest of the chapters in your life mean that much more. Fall apart if you need to, drown yourself in tears and the best part is, you get the privilege to bug that best friend of yours all you want...

Yes, the rain will turn into a storm but remember that every storm comes to an end. So will the one that you're going through. Find shelter in those who cares for you, find shelter underneath the prayers from the Almighty, and most importantly, find shelter within yourself, belief in hope of a brighter day.

Of course, if I were in your shoes I'd say... " Yeah... easy for you to say..." but as a friend, there isn't much that i could do but assure u that at any time, when your path seems dark and u feel like you're lost looking for that shelter you simply cannot find, trust that your good friends will be there to accompany you along that cold path and see you through a warmer day...

Girl, May your journey be bright...May you find that shelter you seek for...My best prayers for you from right here in M'sia!!! Do come back more often ;-)

Take my hope away~

Well, most of the time you'd have a wish you want so badly to come true... sometimes u want it so bad it hurts... be it things that can be bought or even things that takes a miricle to happen... just a reminder.. not to put your hopes to high on anything.. just hope for the best!! ;)

Why does my heart seem to hurt?

And smiles seem to have faded away,

Why do I have tears in the corner of my eyes but refuse to fall?

And the things I try so hard to run from are those that play in my mind.

A shelter from a broken heart I seek,

Sweet were the words that I heard them speak,

And though my heart wishes it to be true

The pictures I see tell me a different story.

I pray for my hopes to be taken away,

For it will soon cause me harm,

Please… help pull me back down,

Put my feet back on the ground.

A time to remember...

Everything has to come to an end they say... I didn't actually think that it'd be this sad....

I guess its true... Soon everyone of us will have to carry on our life in our own seperate path and all you can hope for is that somehow, somewhere along the way we'll meet again =)

Deception??

Have you ever been confused?
You can’t even tell the truth from the false.

Have you ever found yourself deceived?
For something so beautiful, you find yourself hiding from the truth.

Because I have…
And the place it took me… cost me more than what I imagined.

Smart I thought I was,
Brave to think that I was prepared and ready for what ever was ahead of me,
Cautious in every move I make, always trying to be a step ahead,
Isn’t it funny that this is the place I land on?

I wonder...
Why did you hang around for such a long time?
Why did you try so hard to convince me of those you spoke of?
But if there’s one thing that lingers in my head,
Is why did you put so much effort to convince me that I was the one you treasured,
But haven’t got the will to explain yourself given the situation you were faced with…

I’m not sad because of what I found out,
Just disappointed because, what I was afraid to be true is indeed real,
Because at the very moment when I needed to be convinced most,
You choose to only hide and be silent…

Lesson learned

I choose not to trust for reasons that has repeatedly proven itself,
Over and over again it's taken for granted and later left broken.

I've heard promises.. some so sweet I hardly could resist,
Some so convincing and some even swept me off my feet,
But none spoke of the truth and none actually saw it through.

This is what i believe in, and what i try to hold to...
But the fact is i'm just a girl, and perfect i am not,
Slow but soon I may fall and learn to trust again,
Bacause deep in my heart like any other girl thats what i'd like to do,
I'd like to fall and trust again and give the best of me to one who cares...

For all that I've walked through...
I only hope that there wont be another...
Though without them i wouldnt have learned..
And wouldn't have treasured one of the sweetest gift God has granted us with...

Funny but sad...

Its been a long time since i last felt this way. Funny how i thought i was well prepared and yet the amount of dissappointment and pain that i feel is almost just as if i didn't see this coming. But atleast this time its not a long fall just a nudge on my silly head.

Funny too how the pain is as much even when you are on the other side of the picture...
Funny how i feel for the other person when i'm as screwed as that person is...
Funny how something i innitially didn't care about could cause me this..
Fuuny how i was so careful yet trapped in the same misery in the end..

Well i hope & pray that things will soon be better,
And that i dont have to ever go through a day like today,
I pray hard that god will grant me something so much better that i won't even have the thought of yesterday,
And most of all i hope & pray with all my heart that all these happened because god still loves me and HE knows that i deserve better....

A note for fellow gurls~

"Girl, believe in what you are,
And all that you have,
See all pictures from a view wider than your narrow eyes,
Never pass a judgment unless proven true,

If you believe one is yours,
Own him, Make him yours,
But if you doubt your stand,
Blame not others, for the weakness is yours to own,

Remember...that the truth isn't always sweet,
And often the thing that you refuse to believe is the bitter truth,
So trust that little voice u often ignore,
It may hurt but at least lies aren’t what you live in…"

From my heart to yours~

Dear... a note from my heart to yours...

Cherish the gift of love that you own…

Leave her never,

Love her with all your heart,

Keep her safe & sound,

Sheltered within your warm embrace,

Take good care of her as she does of you,

And her trust you must treasure,

For her love is true,

Just for you & only you…

just another post

Im thankful to the gift i own..

Gift of strength and hope

Gift of great friendship to hold on to

And most of all a gift of unconditional love from my one and only family...

Moments like this...

Its moments like this, that makes me want to let go and just let things fall apart. when i'm hanging by a single thread with a slim hope of a bright morning tomorrow. It makes me wonder if i'm where i'm suppose to be or am i lost again in this crazy maze i simply cannot figure out.

I'm scared to death the fact that my heart isn't as numb as it should be. That i'm beginning to feel some warmth. I'm afraid that the time has come for me to walk out of this shelter but somehow i know that the journey will be long and some what hurtful. I'm very afraid that it is time now for me to decide and i just dont want to. i'm not ready of whats ahead of me.... i know that its about time for me to take that chances but the situation is such that i know... either way i go i'm going to hurt again. That either way, the day isnt so bright for me.

All i want is just to know that even if there's a heavy storm tomorrow, that i'll be able to walk through it with a little bit of strengh and sincerity of another heart. I cant afford to walk out the door of my cozy shelter just to go through a heavy storm in doubts and lies.

I guess i will have to leave it to fate and have faith in what god has in store for me... and that god is letting all this happen because its the best for me...

Safe & whole

I guess there's a reason for each emotion... anger, sad, happy, excitement, disappointment, you name it... i'm sure we've all experienced it. Somehow tears seems to be the most common expression for all these emotion.... (girls that is, boys i'm not sure of) each emotion gives different impacts and each has it own way of marking our lives... well atleast that is how it is in my life.

Tears strikes me today... for two different reasons, sad & disappointment. No doubt life is great and i'm very much happy and thankful for each gift and blessing that god has grant me with, but somehow some thoughts pass by my mind and these emotion were those that came along with it.

God is great ... yes i know. God gives me everything i want & need. God takes away everything if he wants to. God loves me for who i really am because only HE knows everything about me, and hopefully fogives me for sins that i sincerely regret. God is the only one who gives me peace in my mind and heart. goodness me, i know but how come i don't act like i do.

"Others will break your heart,

Leave you strended and break you apart,

God heals your soul,

And keep you safe & whole..."

fugly...

What do i know!!!! I guess u r right hanin!! I dont want that fugly old thing... i've thought about it and i know that it was just a one of those stupid things you do for no reason at all.

What was i thinking... god loves me still and i know that because he has taken away something from me and saved me from getting my self in a messy & fugly situation.. it doesnt hurt all that much but it does sort of buzzed me though. What ever it is... I'm happy i can think straight now...and i know that all this is for the better...

History has Repeated Itself

Truth is... I know its a mistake in the first place, but i thought " what the heck ya!! Whats a lil risk?..." I guess i'm wrong & i know now that of all the voices & sweet spoken words that i've heard from left , right , front & back that little whisper from my heart that i've heard a million times but ignored was the only truth there is...

Nothing else in the world can give u a sincere hope & strength accept that little heart of yours... Because at the end of it all, only your tiny heart knows you better than any other living creature on the entire planet earth...

I guess i had to learn it the hard way. Lies, lies & lies... I cant believe that lies deceived me for the second time..

Well, nobody said that life is fair anyways...

This is the end of chapter 2 of this little tale...

lets all hope there isnt a need for chapter 3 =) i do wish for diffrent story all together tho...in your nearest cinemas soon.. real soon.. ;)

A spark of Light....

Swell.... I'm down with fever & flu..Isn't it just great =) With all the changes i'm going through i guess the fever helps me to slow down a lilttle...Sleep more & think less!! Get rid of those silly thoughts i have.....

Someone seems to be missing in action.. hmm.. i wonder why...

I think maybe its about time for me to just forget about the wish that i have... maybe that spark of light that i thought i saw at the end of this tunnel was just an illusion after all... I do hope i'm wrong though...

Anger strikes me once today with the never ending fuss of little siblings... I sure cant wait for them to grow....Darnn....As angry & frustrated as i am... what is there i can do right... after all, i'm suppose to be the one with more "rational"... Just Great!!

Umm...Is it just me or is it the fever??? Whatever it is.... Tommorrow is another day.... Tata~

Confused

The last time i checked, the earth was still revolving, the sun still rises in the morning & the moon still brightens the night just like it should be. Everything was just right and everything was in its places... but what makes me wonder is the feeling that i'm going through. i dont seem to be able to do things like i use too....

• I hate it that i cant write like i use too.
• I hate it that i have so much to tell yet its all stuck inside me.
• I hate this feeling of agony as if i'm waiting for something to go wrong but i dont know what.
• And i hate the fact that i cant talk about it simply because i wouldnt know what to talk about.
• I hate the feeling as if i had made a mistake & i'm just too late to make things right.
• I hate the feeling of guilt when i havent actually done anything wrong
  

So much of a vacation... i thought that everything was going well infact better than i expect but i seem to be clouded with so much thoughts that i shouldnt even be thinking about in the first place!!

I miss a friend that seem to be out of touch... which i hope will turn up soon. i want to do so much but i cant cz i'm afraid that i'll be a distraction in a negative way...

i was sure about something...now i'm not...

I thought i made a decision on something but it turns out maybe my decision is no longer needed. i thought i was in the right positon but circumstances has made things look like i was wrong...

i've got great frens & lots of good things around me but i just dont understand why i'm confused..

I'm confused...lost..it seems.