Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Safe & whole

I guess there's a reason for each emotion... anger, sad, happy, excitement, disappointment, you name it... i'm sure we've all experienced it. Somehow tears seems to be the most common expression for all these emotion.... (girls that is, boys i'm not sure of) each emotion gives different impacts and each has it own way of marking our lives... well atleast that is how it is in my life.

Tears strikes me today... for two different reasons, sad & disappointment. No doubt life is great and i'm very much happy and thankful for each gift and blessing that god has grant me with, but somehow some thoughts pass by my mind and these emotion were those that came along with it.

God is great ... yes i know. God gives me everything i want & need. God takes away everything if he wants to. God loves me for who i really am because only HE knows everything about me, and hopefully fogives me for sins that i sincerely regret. God is the only one who gives me peace in my mind and heart. goodness me, i know but how come i don't act like i do.

"Others will break your heart,

Leave you strended and break you apart,

God heals your soul,

And keep you safe & whole..."

Friday, December 01, 2006

fugly...

What do i know!!!! I guess u r right hanin!! I dont want that fugly old thing... i've thought about it and i know that it was just a one of those stupid things you do for no reason at all.

What was i thinking... god loves me still and i know that because he has taken away something from me and saved me from getting my self in a messy & fugly situation.. it doesnt hurt all that much but it does sort of buzzed me though. What ever it is... I'm happy i can think straight now...and i know that all this is for the better...




Tuesday, November 28, 2006

History has Repeated Itself

Truth is... I know its a mistake in the first place, but i thought " what the heck ya!! Whats a lil risk?..." I guess i'm wrong & i know now that of all the voices & sweet spoken words that i've heard from left , right , front & back that little whisper from my heart that i've heard a million times but ignored was the only truth there is...

Nothing else in the world can give u a sincere hope & strength accept that little heart of yours... Because at the end of it all, only your tiny heart knows you better than any other living creature on the entire planet earth...

I guess i had to learn it the hard way. Lies, lies & lies... I cant believe that lies deceived me for the second time..

Well, nobody said that life is fair anyways...

This is the end of chapter 2 of this little tale...

lets all hope there isnt a need for chapter 3 =) i do wish for diffrent story all together tho...in your nearest cinemas soon.. real soon.. ;)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A spark of Light....


Swell.... I'm down with fever & flu..Isn't it just great =) With all the changes i'm going through i guess the fever helps me to slow down a lilttle...Sleep more & think less!! Get rid of those silly thoughts i have.....

Someone seems to be missing in action.. hmm.. i wonder why...

I think maybe its about time for me to just forget about the wish that i have... maybe that spark of light that i thought i saw at the end of this tunnel was just an illusion after all... I do hope i'm wrong though...

Anger strikes me once today with the never ending fuss of little siblings... I sure cant wait for them to grow....Darnn....As angry & frustrated as i am... what is there i can do right... after all, i'm suppose to be the one with more "rational"... Just Great!!

Umm...Is it just me or is it the fever??? Whatever it is.... Tommorrow is another day.... Tata~

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Confused


The last time i checked, the earth was still revolving, the sun still rises in the morning & the moon still brightens the night just like it should be. Everything was just right and everything was in its places... but what makes me wonder is the feeling that i'm going through. i dont seem to be able to do things like i use too....


  • I hate it that i cant write like i use too.
  • I hate it that i have so much to tell yet its all stuck inside me.
  • I hate this feeling of agony as if i'm waiting for something to go wrong but i dont know what.
  • And i hate the fact that i cant talk about it simply because i wouldnt know what to talk about.
  • I hate the feeling as if i had made a mistake & i'm just too late to make things right.
  • I hate the feeling of guilt when i havent actually done anything wrong

So much of a vacation... i thought that everything was going well infact better than i expect but i seem to be clouded with so much thoughts that i shouldnt even be thinking about in the first place!!

I miss a friend that seem to be out of touch... which i hope will turn up soon. i want to do so much but i cant cz i'm afraid that i'll be a distraction in a negative way...

i was sure about something...now i'm not...

I thought i made a decision on something but it turns out maybe my decision is no longer needed. i thought i was in the right positon but circumstances has made things look like i was wrong...

i've got great frens & lots of good things around me but i just dont understand why i'm confused..


I'm confused...lost..it seems.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Janji & Kata-kata

Bukan paras rupa jadi ukuran,
Bukan juga kehebatan diri,
Hanya kejujuran untuk sebuah harapan,
Dan keikhlasan dari hati.

Hanya ingin diyakin kan,
Bukan dengan kata-kata sahaja,
Tapi penuhi setiap janji dengan perbuatan,
Jadi kan setiap kata-kata mu nyata.

Hari berganti hari,
Janji dan kata-kata semakin hilang dan jauh,
Mungkin silap ku kerana hanya berdiam diri,
Tapi mungkin juga ianya suatu bukti.

Jika diri ini yang bersalah,
Ku susunkan sepuluh jari,
Andinya aku telah melukai hati atau perasaan mu,
Dan akan ku doakan bahagiaan mu di setiap hari-hariku..

Dengan doa dan usaha,
Aku serahkan selebihnya pada takdir,
Aku nanti kan sebuah cerita bahagia,
Aku nanti kan diri mu hadir...

What a girl wants

What a girl wants is just a place to belong,
A person to hold on to,
Not a nice & sweet written song,
Just two warm arms to fall back to.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

what if i told u...


what if i told u,
that i'm wondering why u seem silent and quiet out of a sudden,

what if i told u,
that i'm waiting for that call u promised me,

what if i told u,
that i'm thinking of u everyday for so long now.

what if i told u,
that i wanna to know u so much more i just dont know how to,

what if i told u,
that i want to be able to talk to you more about me

what if i told u,
that i'm sorry it took so long for me to decide

what if i told u,
that u've won my heart overtime,

what if i told u,
that i needed u more than just a friend...

what if...
would u need me too?
would u call me so i can talk and listen to you?
would u forgive me for taking such long time?
would u love me just the way u told me u do before or even more?
or would u just walk away & leave?

Friday, October 13, 2006

Cold . . .

Note
Just an old piece.. had nothing better to post :)


How could you not notice?
The sadness that covers her face,
How could you overlook?
That smile which bares sorrow and pain,
How could you ignore?
The one who sheltered you through the rain,
And leave her cold when happiness came,
As if it was just a silly game.

Why did you cry upon her shoulder?
When you had only tears to offer,
Why did you give hopes to her?
When you never intend to make things better,
But instead left her cold alone to suffer.

So now its clear,For all those you promised her,
A man of your own words, you are,
Leaving the best thing u could ever own,
Drenched in cold broken promises...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

A Big Thank You and A Hug

A token of appreciation to my dear friends who made my birthday a bright and joyful day!!!

Firstly to my Best Buddie, Natasha...
My Great friend, Ira, Jawahir, Shikin, Nurul, Nabilla
Fie, Shigim & leeza, Faatin & shaq
Nik, Khairul ,Fais, Faezah
Kak Wan & Afiura too
and all others who remembered & wished me..
and also
To
  • To the ones who send sms right from mid night...
  • To the ones who called and sang me song or even just a simple wish...
  • To the ones who treated me to a piece of brownies and a fun filled lunch
  • To the ones who bought me my favorite drink in starbucks and almost two hours of laughters and smiles...
To every single people and frens in my life who made today, A DAY TO REMEMBER...
Your wishes & efforts meant a lot to me...

A word of appreciation from my sincere heart....thanks for making me feel better & today a special Birthday~

Love u guys for all that u've done for me....
Thank you!
I know for sure I have friends i can count on~
Thanks for being a great fren to me as well...

Friday, September 15, 2006

huh?? wassup wif u!

Ppl can be really strange sometimes...
one minute their all nice & friendly...but the exact
opposite the next minute...
sheeshhh...
if only i get to ask why...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Happy Birthday Daddy~

just a simple wish for my dad...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY~
A B I G thank you for evrything that u haf done for me...
May all your wishes & prayers come true... may u be blessed with only the best thing in life for u haf given us the best of u!!
if u happen to read this daddy...just want to tell you that i love u so much..
and all i want for u is for u be happy each & everyday of your life..

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Sarcasm

the only reason i'm sarcastic is because the rest of the world is sarcatic to me too
so it isn't really my fault, is it?

A time to remember~


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Soon~

turn not to me when your days are dark and brightness are far,
turn not to me when ur sides are silent and suddently empty,

Remember never, of what use to be,
forget yesterday, for today is a diffrent story.

the reasons why you'll soon wonder,
remember then that the answer lies in you...